If you hoo hoo want a lesson or two,
Take a hint you'll pay a mint at...
Modern School, Modern School,
They always say you are doing okay,
It's not true...

Come on everybody sing Modern School of Motoring,
The best place to go if you want to crash,
You will never pass your test,
They say you will but it's a jest,
Modern School just wants your cash.

Out on the road, don't use the highway code,
Not with us it's too much fuss at...
Modern School, Modern School,
Jump in and drive you're lucky to be alive,
When it's through...